"Finally there is clarity; this tiny life is making sense..."

Hola, Blog.

Life is going swell. I have no philosophical or esoteric outpourings for today. Just simple facts. (at least, that's my plan. somehow I always end up writing some prolonged dissertation on my absurd little life...)

So, I've finally made a firm decision:
I am NOT becoming an RA. but I am, however, going to work at Captel, :) which is a phone-captioning service for hard-of-hearing folks--and coincidentally, a company that provides employment for a large percentage of the student body at UWM. It's been a rough and tumultuous decision, but overall, it makes the most sense. My parents had already offered to pay for housing for my first two years. A majority of one's compensation as an RA is free housing (around a $5000 value)... the rest consisting of a free meal plan and a monthly stipend of $250. This is excellent, but if my parents offered to pay, why not take advantage of it? My dad told me that he would not necessarily be able to help in future years, to make up for the money he saved while I was an RA. The risk didn't seem worth it... Besides, working at Captel, I can actually begin to save money for the future. I can't "save" my free housing for the future...

I may still become an RA in the future (even though I've become pretty disgusted with the behavior of my fellow residents).
It all depends.

As far as majors, things are clearing up a bit.
Basically, I have it narrowed down to two broad categories:
either language or music.

This helps, but it still doesn't remove the gravity of the decision. I'm still conflicted. but at least the options aren't as staggering as they once were.

My most grandiose dream is this:
to major in French and Applied Linguistics, and then become a teacher of English in France. that would be incredible... whether or not it's plausible, I'm not sure.


last Monday, as my father was driving me back to school, I was talking about majors again. something slipped out of my mouth which inadvertently clarified things:
"I wouldn't mind remaining in academia for the rest of my life."
it's strange, once I put that feeling into words, my existence felt a bit more clear... as though I had finally chosen a path.

For a long time, I wanted to admit that being a professor and basically remaining in school forever would be a pretty fantastic thing. I wouldn't admit it, because I was so caught up in doing something "tangible" for the world. and who can blame me? my father's an engineer. Every time I brought up majoring in something abstract like Literature or a foreign language or Linguistics, he'd always raise an eyebrow, and question the validity of such degrees.
But I just know that I have an undying passion for learning, and that I really do want to learn for the rest of my life. and, the best way to continue learning is by teaching.

so, perhaps, I've come full circle.
but who really knows what the future holds for me?

all I have is my passion and my curiosity. As long as I have that, I'm set.


"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."
-Bernard Shaw


ALSO: MAY I JUST REITERATE HOW UPSET I AM when I find that my posts are spammed by weird Asian websites?!?! I get so excited, because I see that one of my posts has a comment. unfortunately, I just get a weird message in characters that I can't understand, directing me to some porn website... :(